Queens Tribune

You can't take yourself too seriously, whether you're a presidential candidate, a governor - Eliot has proven that - or a newspaper publisher or columnist. And as you sit here every week pounding the keys to the computer, you recognize that some of your thoughts, ideas or concepts are not earth-shattering or perhaps not even newsworthy. Some of them, you hope are fun or interesting, or heart warming. Sometimes, you just want people to think . . . or smile.

Here's a collection of this morning's thoughts compiled as Lil and I chatted over breakfast as CNN did some Nevada Primary reporting and South Carolina analysis:

Mitt Romney is real. His name is not Mitt - you can't have a President named Mitt - it's his middle name. His name is Willard. Nuff said. Sorry, in today's society, Willard is more of a negative than being a Mormon.

Rudy Giuliani is not real. The rest of the nation is discovering that deep down, America's Mayor is a mean spirited, angry man who was in the wrong place at the right time and his New York prosecutorial tough guy image won't sell in the red, white or blue states - forget about the black ones.

People should stop worrying about the weather. You can't listen to the weather folks too far in advance because they just are not right. You can open the window or door to see if it's cold. You can look out to see if it's raining. Leave an umbrella in the car and if you're cold dress warm. If there is a real storm brewing, it leads the news. You don't have to wait for the five minute weather segment. As a matter of fact, if you do other stuff during the weather broadcast of your nightly news show, forget the weather channel; skip all the weather stuff but the hard news, the average American will get back about 2 days a year.

I'm going to try it and sleep the two days of this year which I gain from weather broadcasts.

Polls are apparently no better than weather-forecasting. New Hampshire established the fact that the perceptivity and analysis of pollsters is great when they're right and terrible when they're wrong. And you have to wait for the real results to know which is which. So treat poll results as you would weather forecasts and sleep an extra two days every presidential election year. Late night talk show hosts are the only ones to really benefit from the fodder that poll results bring.

I have not fact checked this, but I hear that American Idol gets more votes than the national Presidential Election. I mean I recognize the power of pop culture and the pitfalls of American politics, but c'mon, that is just real bad for the future of our nation. Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell and company should not allow you to vote for the next American Idol if you don't participate in the Presidential election. As a matter of fact, why not make voting for the next American Idol on Election Day at your polling place, inside your voting booth. We could solve the turnout problem, get the young involved and allow seniors to help decide if Clay Aiken or Kelly Clarkson should be going to Hollywood.

The Obama phenomenon has legs. He is a movement - that is the leading factor in his electability. But can a movement win the election? His charisma, oration and people skills follow as the key factors on the plus side of his electiblity index. Being the nation's first electable non-white candidate may be a slight positive - a tribute to the long way we've come. But it is not the overriding issue of this election.

Hillary - I've always admired it when people were so well known that they were able to use their first name and be identified anywhere in the world. They also have to have a pretty weird name. Mitt, Rudy, Madonna, Shakira.

Hillary is a force. She remains the front runner, narrowly - very narrowly. In spite of media over-analysis, Bill is her second most important electibility asset. Being a woman - yes, we've come a long way, baby - is her first. Her next are her intelligence and depth of experience in reverse order.

Our local supermarket now offers goat milk lined up in the cooler along side the incredible variety of the other containers. As the youngest member of the family, I clearly remember having to go to the basement to buy the family's milk from a machine. The variety: milk or milk. There was the white stuff 27 cents a container. A quarter would get it for you and then there was the "honor" slot to put the two pennies in. Dad used to preach to me about honesty when he gave me the 27 cents and dispatched me to the laundry room at 66-10 149th street. Mom, she would give me a quarter and tell me not to worry about the 2 cents. There's some stuff you don't forget. Mom will probably argue with me about this on the phone tonight.

Lil insists they can't do away with pennies because they'd have to rewrite the old songs. Okay Lil, hum a few bars. . .

Speaking of milk, they have added several varieties of milks which deal with lactose intolerance. So how come they haven't developed a milk to deal with other forms of intolerance?

See you next week unless I'm still asleep.