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For Tom O’Clair, publicly sharing one of the most tragic stories a parent could ever tell has become almost routine.

O’Clair’s burly frame doesn’t budge when he takes the podium. He doesn’t weep. He rarely pauses between words and has probably told the same story many times in countless rooms across the state in front of multitudes of strangers.

On an easel next to O’Clair stand two enlarged photos. One shows a young boy smiling toward the camera sitting on a bicycle. Above it rests a picture of Timothy Michael O’Clair’s tombstone. It reads that he was 12 years old.

As the boy’s father spoke recently at Zucker Hillside Hospital in New Hyde Park, it marked what would have been Timothy’s 18th birthday.

Timothy’s teachers identified his mental illness when he was 8 years old. He received treatment early on and for nine months, his parents gave up custody of the youngest of three sons after Timothy’s first suicide attempt failed on a tree outside the family’s home.

On a branch that could be seen from the O’Clair’s kitchen, Timothy climbed as he often did in the past, but this time he had a rope and a much different purpose than to explore from above.

It was Timothy’s mother who climbed the tree that day to save her son, but soon after, she wouldn’t be that lucky.
After being placed in foster care to deal with his illness, Timothy came home on his mother’s birthday. His parents thought he would be cured.

“For the first three weeks, he was a little boy we haven’t seen in years,” said O’Clair.

Then, depression, anger and a refusal to take his prescribed medication again haunted the O’Clair family.
“Timothy reached a level, a threshold, that he had come to so many times before and decided not to cross,” said O’Clair.

On March 16, 2001, just six weeks after coming home, Timothy was discovered by his mother hanged in his bedroom closet.

“It was that day that I will remember stronger than any other day in my life,” said O’Clair.

According to O’Clair, that day may not have ever occurred had his insurance provider covered the costs of mental health treatment.

As a New York State Thruway Authority mechanic, O’Clair’s policy covered 20 therapy visits per year. Timothy needed more. With rising co-pays and used-up coverage, eventually, Timothy’s medical treatment became just too much for the O’Clair family to handle.

If the boy’s father had been a state elected official, the treatment costs would have been covered.

In March, Timothy’s Law passed for the fourth consecutive time in the State Assembly. It requires that mental illnesses and chemical dependency disorders are covered under health insurance policies the same as other physical illnesses. A parity bill in the State Senate has been introduced, but lobby groups like the Timothy’s Law Coalition, are not in favor of it because it excludes business that employ of 50 or fewer people. Members said it also does not deal with chemical dependency.

According to the Timothy’s Law Coalition, medical professionals should determine how often patients need to be treated, not the insurance provider. So far 35 states have agreed and have passed similar legislation.

A recent Pricewaterhouse Coopers study estimated that the passage of Timothy’s Law would only increase premiums by $1.26 per insured person per month.

According to the Surgeon General, 21 percent of children aged 9 to 17 have a mental or addictive disorder. Suicide is currently the third leading cause of death for New Yorkers aged 15 to 24. Some 1,300 residents take their lives every year.

Despite the statistics, none could ever give O’Clair his son’s life back. Shortly after speaking at Zucker Hillside, O’Clair gathered his belongings and headed to a Long Island fund-raiser to retell the experience again on his son’s birthday.