: Two Years Later: Healing Continues For Queens Families

Speaking a month after the first New York City residents to die in Iraq, Robert Marcus Rodriguez, would have turned 23, his sister, Hyda Hernandez-Lopez of Maspeth, said every year around this time “I get sad” and “my mind wanders and I wonder what could have happened.”

“We go through all the ‘what ifs,’” she said.

Those questions haunt Hyda and her family all year, and become painfully unanswerable on other days, like: Feb. 15, Marcus’ birthday; March 19, the second anniversary of the Iraq War, and March 25, the day Marcus’ tank flipped over into the Euphrates River.

Two years after losing her brother, Hyda busies herself with her five school-aged children and by teaching Sunday School. “That’s my way of dealing with it.”

Painful News
“Dealing with it” is a newer experience for other families in Queens, like the Prevetes of Whitestone. Their 22-year-old son, James, died five months ago in a vehicle accident, officials said.

This week, his family and friends spoke to Community Board 7, hoping to memorialize the 22-year-old soldier on the street he called home.

Prevete’s mother, Jean, said, “Jim loved Whitestone, he loved his street.” Frank Rullo, a friend of the family, remembered what the young soldier told him he wanted. “While he was away, Jim always wanted to come back and he would say, ‘can we please have another block party?’”

“Jim lived his ultimate dream by joining the Army,” said longtime friend Joanna Massaro. “His second biggest dream was to live on Fifth Avenue (in College Point), get married and have children. He actually picked out one of the houses that are currently there. Jim wished one day that he could raise his children [there],” she said.
The board voted unanimously to rename Fifth Avenue between 147th and 149th Streets in honor of Prevete.

“I believe renaming Fifth Avenue will truly keep the memories of Jim alive,” said Massaro.

One day after Prevete’s family emerged publicly, so did the grieving family of Azhar Ali of Flushing. Ali’s parents had spent only 24 days with their son, who left his native Pakistan for Queens more than a decade ago.

This is the only thing that can bring the whole family together,” said Ali’s cousin, Sunny Sharif. Ali’s eight brothers and sisters, parents and extended family are reunited and will attend services at the Islamic Burial Funeral Home, 76-02 Rockaway Blvd., Woodhaven, this week.
“Now we can put Azhar Ali’s soul to rest in peace,” said Sharif. According to Muslim law, Ali should have been buried within 24 hours of his death on March 2.

The wake will take place from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. on Thursday, and from 10 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Friday. At 1:45 p.m. Friday, Ali will be buried at the Washington Memorial Park, 866 Canal Rd., in Coram, N.Y.

The news of Ali’s death was seemingly exacerbated by how it was delivered. Ali’s father lives a half-hour away from the American embassy in Pakistan, but was told of his son’s death via a telephone call, his family said. Then, Ali’s parents and half his siblings then needed American officials to help expedite their visa applications.

Killed in the same attack as Ali was Wai Lwin of Douglaston. His mother spoke to the Tribune in her home, occasionally taking a whiff from a vial of smelling salts.
Lwin turned down an opportunity to leave his colleagues to attend his grandfather’s funeral in Myanmar. “He said he had to do what he had to do,” said his mother, Thein Zaw. “I can understand. He loved his job.”

Lwin was buried this past Saturday at the Long Island National Cemetery in Pinelawn.

Back In Combat
As families cry, console and recover from the death of their sons and brothers, Omar Tsatsis of Fresh Meadows speaks matter-of-factly about it. “That happens every day, that’s war.”

The 25-year-old Marine helped lead forces during the invasion of Iraq and now works in his father’s Jackson Heights pharmacy. Driven by a mix of comradery for fellow soldiers, and discontent with his employment, Tsatsis adds, “Even if it was Viet Nam, I would volunteer to go back.”

And he has.

“I’d almost like to say every single guy I served with would do the same thing, as opposed to guys in my position: single, no obligations.” Tsatsis, who tried his hand at a few graduate courses at St. John’s University, added, “It might be a little harder for me if I had a wife, a kid, a house.”

He does though, have a girlfriend. “She really doesn’t know,” about his plans to re-enlist. Neither do his parents, whom Tsatsis predicts, “are going to be pissed, but you only live once.”

What might keep Tsatsis out of service is an injury he suffered after he returned home. The 5-foot-8, 200-pound soldier tore his ACL playing football with his fraternity at St. John’s. He gained 70 pounds after the injury, and has managed to drop about half that so far.

‘Serve With Some Humility’
While families around Queens recover from their loss, others in the borough take news of the growing number of casualties differently.

“Is it getting better? I don’t see it,” said U.S. Rep. Gregory Meeks (D-Jamaica). “Our troops our dying, thousands of Iraqi’s are dying.”

“It won’t get better until we get help from other countries,” said Meeks, who voted against appropriating $86 billion for the war after authorizing the president to use military force to oust Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. To get that help from “other countries,” Meeks said, “hopefully, the administration will serve with some humility.”

Back Home
Back at the Rodriguez home, a three-foot table that once held the flower wreaths, scented candles and photos of Rodriquez, has now turned back into a dinner table and homework station for many of the 17 nieces and nephews he left behind.

In the corner of the dining room is a shrine of the first New York City resident who died for the Iraq War, decked out with baby pictures, flowers, and rosary beads. Although those “what ifs” are still unanswered, Hyda moves on, as a mother, and grieving sister. “As often as they die, we set up fresh flowers,” she said.