By MICHAEL SCHENKLER

As 1999 was quickly becoming 2000, Trib editor, Tamara Hartman talked this writer into picking up his rusty pen and begin anew writing a column of commentary.

Fifty-five consecutive columns and just over a year later, I look back in amusement and consternation at some of the words I’ve put to paper.

No great earthshaking revelations; just the scattered ramblings of a publisher who loves Queens and politics turned columnist who loves to write.

Thanx, Tamara.

QUIPS: More than a decade ago, I penned a weekly column called "QUIPS: Queens in Politics."

Now, as we enter the new millennium I will occasionally offer a Queens publisher’s comments on the doings and politicking of Queens and of the world at large — and maybe more often than just occasionally.

I hope you find my writing thought provoking, interesting, timely and entertaining.

Read, and write back.

Now, let me ramble and share with you. (December ‘99 it began.)

EDUCATION FLASHBACK: I don’t recall the exact words, but the sentiment has remained with me for more than three decades. Murray [Bergtraum] shook his head and sadly said: "It’s no use. There is no solution. They should burn down 110 Livingston St. (Board of Education headquarters) and start over."

Some 30 years later, the mayor has suggested that the Board be blown up.

Let’s stop kidding ourselves. We all know, our school system is failing.

Anyone have a match?

OFF HIS ROCKER: Because, in our judgment, John Rocker should wear only one uniform – the one with a mask and pointed hood.

FLYING INTO THE NEW MILLENNIUM: Fantasy is reality and Dick Tracy’s watch phone will be worn by everyone – tomorrow. Beam me up Scotty? Maybe not so far off. Outer space travel in our lifetimes? Friends, the unimaginable is no longer unimaginable. Fantasy, reality. And the surreal, real.

Welcome to the third millennium – somewhere.

Welcome to the future. Tomorrow is today and we are all walking or flying through that portal together, and very soon we shall share the experience on the other side.

Happy future. 01/00

BRIGHT IDEA! We make a quiet and respectful challenge to George W. Bush, Al Gore, Bill Bradley, John McCain, and the rest of the gang making the Presidential play.

We’ll arrange for a fairly administered, impartially scored, supervised IQ test. We’ll involve professionals from our local universities. We’ll invite each candidate’s representatives and the rest of the media in to scrutinize the process. We’ll tape every step of the way. We’ll release the scores to the public. We’ll let the people utilize the information to make their judgment.

The public will have one more piece of the puzzle to evaluate the men who seek to lead the greatest nation in the world.

How about it, gentlemen?

Ready; take out your number two pencils; begin.

THE QUEENS STORY, TWO BLOCKS FROM UTOPIA: The face of Queens has changed since I first came here. The empty spaces are gone and old-timers struggle to keep the Queens they remember. The price of progress often impacts the suburban lifestyle and "quality of life" has become a shibboleth of community activists across the borough.

The new millennium has witnessed the arrival of our borough’s two millionth resident. The soul of Queens – its people – is strong, and varied and beautiful.

So, as we look back across the millennium divide, we see not an aging borough, nor an aging newspaper, we see the legacy of wonder and riches that pave the way to our future.

Thanx for the memories . . . and those to come. 02/00

DIALLO: I have no quick solutions. I merely suggest that we in Queens — the multi-cultural center of the world — could help a little. When someone walks by you on the street, smile at them, nod your head, say hello. Forget their dress, language, skin color, national origin. Nod, smile and remember: we are all children of our great Queens community. We can set an example. We can make a difference. You matter. 03/00

IN MEMORIAM: I feel the need to add my voice to the thousands that are crying out mourning the death of innocent black men at the hands of New York police.

Yes, many police officers have color meters. The darker you are, the quicker they shoot. Minorities get hassled. Is it training? Is it statistics? Is it insensitivity? Or, is it part of the NYPD culture? We do not know the answer.

We do know, that Rudy Giuliani could change his legacy by finding the answer and correcting it.

IF THE SHOE FITS: It’s all around us. SEX! Suggestive, evocative, provocative, turn-you-on images are part of the American culture — especially here in New York.

Welcome to New York. It’s a wonderful City where the sighted are bombarded with provocative imagery, lots of cleavage, inner thighs, underwear, barely concealed total nudity and suggestive graphics that could cause a grown man to drive into a guard rail.

No solutions to the sex over-exposure here. But if you see any ads or images more provocative than the ones I’ve discussed, please send them to me at the Queens Tribune.

I’ve got studying to do! 04/00

STOCK MARKET: Okay, let’s take Monopoly. If I were giving advise on how to win at Monopoly consistently and in the long run, I’d provide one rule of thumb. Buy the blue chips and build on them.

Now, am I implying that playing the stock market is like playing a game? Don’t be silly. I would never suggest that the lion’s share of American investment dollars is merely in a gambling pool of some fast-paced new economy electronic real world and virtual game. C’mon, all of you and the rest of the folks across the country know exactly how and why you are investing in the four-letter company whose full name you forgot and whose business is something high-tech- internet related. And anyway, does it matter? Uncle Henry heard it from his business friend’s neighbor’s brother and everything he touches turns to gold. He always is investing in winners.

And so our nation’s money goes. New or old economy, Boardwalk and Pennsylvania Avenue look pretty good right now.

Buy it, build and hold.

A NEW PUBLICATION: After many years of presenting ourselves as boroughwide in scope, this company that has proudly published the borough’s largest community newspaper, the Queens Tribune for 30 years intends to fulfill our boroughwide mandate. Next week, the Press of Southeast Queens will take its first breath. Committed to serving the dynamic southeast Queens neighborhoods of St. Albans, Jamaica, Springfield Gardens, Cambria Heights, Laurelton, South Ozone Park and others, the Press shall offer to the predominantly black population of the area, a similar brand of advocacy journalism, community information and serve as a local sounding board just as the award-winning Tribune has championed in the rest of the borough. 05/00

FAUX PAS! All we can do is try our best. And that is our newspaper’s commitment to you, 52 weeks a year.

GUNS: The City should check permits and codes, regulate and inspect, harangue and harass their gun toting asses back to Montana or wherever people of violence come from.

Not in our City.

Not with our children.

WORD-SMITH: Seriously, we’d like our elected officials to conduct themselves as role models for the youth of our State. 06/00

THE "INS" ARE ALWAYS IN
Hold your breath, pull the lever,
In primary or general election,
And be a part of democracy,
With warts and severe infection.

ELECTION TIME: Yup! Welcome to Queens where the incumbent always wins. No, it’s not the law — although we know several who would like it to be. It’s just the way it is.

PLAGIARISM: In private industry, such transgressions – between companies – would be dealt with by litigation and financial settlements. If within a company, someone’s head would likely roll and apologies would be issued, policies would be changed and all announced immediately.

For our kids in school, suspensions, expulsions and punishments are meted out for using the words of another and not accepting responsibility and acting appropriately when discovered.

In the State Senate, they dismiss it as an error.

I guess school children and private industry have higher standards than government.

POLITICS: We remember the good old days when the difference between the parties was like the difference between left and right (in our opinion, that was also the difference between left and wrong).

But no longer; everyone has moved to the center and votes are traded and often controlled by special interests.

Money and power have brought democracy to an all time low.

And it’s sad!

That’s half a year; stay tuned.

IT AIN’T HEAVY: The picture [and caption] is borrowed from last week’s issue of The Equinox, the newspaper of Keene State College, New Hampshire.

Lee, with the world on his shoulders, is my 21-year-old son — raised in a home with high ideals and lots of newsprint and ink — who took the picture and was recently elected to his new position by the paper’s editorial board. He just put out his first issue which arrived at our house this week — I’ve been showing it off to everyone in the office.

I expect, throughout the next year, to be giving Lee a couple of tips on getting the publishing job done. To start with Lee, it takes a good team — like the one I have here at the Trib. Then, real hard work, discipline, imagination, integrity and a dogged desire to serve the community in a manner that our founding fathers knew and understood was as precious as any of our freedoms.

"BOOP ESIDENT" Picture of the Week

On Queens Blvd., right outside of Queens Borough Hall is this sign welcoming you and introducing the "BOOP ESIDENT" CLIRE ULA." It directs you to Jury Impaneling but fell apart when it had to deal with "Marriage." Hmmmm! Photo by Ira Cohen

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Michael Schenkler can be reached at: MSchenkler@QueensTribune.com

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