2001 Predictions For
Fun And Peace
By MICHAEL SCHENKLER
These are presented for your amusement and thought along with our
fervent wish that the New Year bring only good news to you and yours.
May 2001 be a blast.
The year starts off when three New York, New Years babies are
named "dot com."
This avid Giants fan, like the rest, will be sadly disappointed on the
first weekend of the year when the Rams eliminate the Giants from their Super bowl quest.
Just days before the inauguration Yassir Arafat and Ehud Barak will
come to Washington, DC to meet with President Clinton. The result of the meeting will give
real hope for a lasting Middle East peace.
Well spend the year laughing at George "Dubya" and his
verbal skills starting with the inauguration.
Britney Spears performs at Shea Stadium when the weather is
warmer. Save a ticket for Allison.
George W. Bush will pardon Bill Clinton and bring an end to one of the
most politically motivated, vile witch-hunts in our nation.
Rudy Giuliani will prepare for life after mayor by announcing he plans
to join a law firm and do color on the Yankee home games.
Audrey Pheffer drops out of the Borough President melee.
A child labor scandal in Queens will make the headlines.
The stock market will continue its roller coaster ride throughout the
year closing the year up, based on the performance of "old economy" mainstays.
Donald Trump will undertake a major development in Japan.
The Mets again go to the World Series.
Against the Yankees, again.
The Subway Series 2001: same teams; different outcome.
The Queens economy will be stronger than ever. The fight between
developers and civic groups will reach new heights with activists chaining themselves in
the paths of bulldozers.
Bill Clinton wows the City and becomes the hottest item on the social
and business circuit.
Forget the Knicks.
The four-way (Hevesi, Ferrer, Green and Vallone) September Democratic
Primary for mayor fails to capture voter interest. In a poor turnout, with all candidates
between 20% & 30%, a runoff between Ferrer and Hevesi is won by Hevesi of Forest
Hills. He easily beats Republican media mogul Michael Bloomberg becoming the first mayor
from Queens in modern history.
A pornography scandal concerning films shot in Queens will make
headlines. The press will demand access to view all films.
Claire Shulman will be named the new president of Queens College.
A major breakthrough will be made in fighting the AIDS epidemic.
As the 2001 winter approaches, the homeless will again make the
headlines. The citys efforts will have been totally inadequate. The debates and
infighting will continue as to what is the best solution and where to house the homeless.
More homeless will die in the streets. (Reprinted in its entirety from 1988 predictions).
The internet will be the subject of more news stories than any other
All copies of this column will be destroyed before years end.
Enjoy 2001 and stay tuned for the fun.
2001 Predictions From Our Readers
Borrowing from our friend Dan Rattiner, editor & publisher of Dans
Papers in the Hamptons, we asked our readers: What will 2001 bring?
A school seat for virtually every child;
LaGuardia Airport operating "normally" with no dramatic delays; the opening of a
new hospital (Queens Hospital Center) for the first time in a generation; ground broken
for a new Olympic pool and skating rink in Flushing Meadows Corona Park; Superb expansions
of the Hall of Science and Queens Theatre in Park; an African American Hall of Fame in St.
Albans; Urban Renewal Area on Rockaway Peninsula will be developed; Museum of Modern Art
will open in Queens.
Claire Shulman, Queens Borough President
Bill and Hillary will be selling their
Westchester home for an apartment on the east side. The NY party bosses will get together
to support one candidate for mayor. The Council Speaker will come from Manhattan, and for
the first time since 1973, the bosses will try to put together a "ticket" for
all three citywide candidates. Andrew Cuomo will decide not to run for governor. George
Pataki will appoint his Lt. Gov. to a judgeship freeing up the spot for Rick Lazio. The
UFT will go on strike after the January break. Formula One racing will come to Flushing
Mike Nussbaum, Associate Publisher, Queens Tribune
I predict the earth will continue to spin
and hurtle out of control into the dark, silent, unknown outer reaches of the Universe
where who knows what dangers await. Sort of like a Roger Clemens fastball about to
cross the plate in front of Mark McGwire. Crack! Anyway, that is what came up when I
thought about it here at the paper at one in the morning.
Dan Rattiner, Dans Papers
The same boring stuff as 2000 only we get
to write a 2001.
A very quiet and hardly publicized recount
of the ballots in Florida will explode like a neutron bomb after Jan. 3 when the election
board staffs return from the holiday and begin the recount ordered by the court and being
paid for by a consortium of newspapers. Broward County already started the recount but had
to stop because county workers started their holiday. Neither the counties of Palm Beach
nor Miami-Dade could start as their ballots were still in Tallahassee but are on their way
back as ordered by a judge. I predict that a huge amount of votes will be shown to have
given Gore the 25 Florida Electoral votes needed to elect him President and cause such an
unbelievable wave of anger that Bush eventually will not be able to govern and will resign
leaving Cheney the president which the American public will accept.
Mort Hillman, Palm Beach Fla, former Bayside Assemblyman
I foresee a chaotic election cycle for
Queens in the year 2001. With 14 City Council seats, the Borough Presidency of Queens and
three citywide positions (mayor, comptroller and public advocate) all up for grabs, we can
expect countless candidates, new alliances and mass confusion. Add to that the fact that
two of the expected mayoral candidates, Peter Vallone and Alan Hevesi, are from Queens
(and there can only be one "favorite son"), I think we can expect an election
that will rival the recent Presidential race for excitement and white-knuckle counts
and perhaps re-counts.
Carol Gresser, former President NYC Bd. of Ed.
Year 2001: The economy will sag no
recession, but no signs of robust optimism either. Education and the process will be
reevaluated. Crime will tend to rise a bit, as complacent behavior will allow this.
Technology: only the meaningful technologies will withstand the "old economy"
tests and survive. Esoteric and cosmetic "dot.coms" will be looked at as
the pariahs and shunned by the investor community as well as by the press and public at
large. Tax Reforms will become a political issue only to have reforms which will add (not
reduce) the complex tax laws. America will still remain a highly taxed middle class
country. Foreigners will still want to come to USA and want to settle here (even for a few
years) to reap the rewards. Even the ones who outwardly blame the USA for their
countrys problems will still want a taste of this great country. Family: the core
family reaches out for a moral life and struggles to maintain the cohesiveness that it
idealizes and craves. What TV did to the 60s generation, on-line and computers will
do to this present generation. Religion: A few setbacks of world religious leaders will
attempt a feeble reflection about life and its true meaning. But a greater focus on
religion and its contribution will become prevalent.
The Yankees will win the series. President
Bushs honeymoon with the opposition will be brief.
2001 will bring an OVER-MERCHANDISING of
the SPACE ODYSSEY theme. Kids will find out who Stanley Kubrick is. The bi-partisan
honeymoon for Pres. Bush will wear off very soon, when extremists of both parties
dont want to agree and get along. Air traffic at LGA will get so bad that there will
be overwhelming support for a reduction of flights from that airport and expansion will
occur at Islip, Stewart, etc. Dot-coms will have another bad year, and more of them will
go out of business, etc. By the end of the year, there will be a major shake-up in the
Bush administration. The Yankees will finally NOT make it to the World Series, but that is
because there will be a labor lock-out by owners, who cant afford these new
salaries. Oil prices will be so crazy that Pres. Bush (the ex-oilman) is forced to put in
price controls and regulations. Toward the end of the year, Al Gore will be named
President of some major university.
Chelsea Clinton will write a book, with a
$4 million advance, about what it was like to be the daughter of Bill and Hill during the
Ken Starr scandal. Shes going to medical school and needs some cash to pay for it
Melanie Carroll, former Tribune reporter
I PREDICT that our now President-elect
George Ws term will be a duplicate of the Gerald Ford era...meaning: speeches that
dont make much sense and falling, tripping and fumbling all over the place.
"Saturday Night Live" will have a ball at Mr. Bushs expense.
George Bush will finally be elected
president. Nixon, though dead, will emerge as the most qualified candidate from the 2000
elections. Wall Street will finally figure out that dot.coms like Amazon who sell at
a loss cannot "make it up in volume" and profitable companies will
again be the darling of Wall Street. AOL will gain approval from the FTC to purchase
Canada in a combined Stock and cash transaction. US Steel will finally finish the
The New York Mets will win the World Series
The discovery that there is a genetic
component to the premature climax. Absolutely! We remember the Gulf War prematurely
ending (and Bush declaring us the winner) without continuing and counting
Baghdad, and now we saw his son declare himself the winner of an election before all the
votes could be counted. This is probably the most famous father and son who have
both been known to too quickly come up short and still hold on to their union.
|Going around on the internet:Bush Inaugural Theme Song
(to the tune of "What a Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke)
Dont know much about history
Dont know much of psychology
Dont know much of any pending bills
Or the names of convicts that Ive killed
But I do know whos paid my way
For corporate interests and the NRA
What a wonderful world it will be
Dont know much about ecology
Dont know much bout foreign policy
Dont care much about that Kyoto pact
Hugging trees just aint a part of my act
Doesnt matter where we foul the soil
Just as long as we might find some oil
What a wonderful world it will be
I never claimed to be an A student
But I dont have to be
If you have deep pockets and you sell nuke rockets
Youre a friend of my family
Dont know much about the public schools
Dont know much about those church-and-state rules
Dont know why those inner-city kids fail
Oughtta ask their dads to pay for Yale
But theres one thing that I know for sure
If the rich stay rich and poor stay poor
What a wonderful world it will be
Dont know much about the Constitution
Dont know much about the Revolution
Dont know much of paying off a debt
Never had to pay one off just yet
Cause a silver spoon has stayed my woes
And if I can keep it out of my nose
What a wonderful world it will be
Michael Schenkler can be reached at: MSchenkler@QueensTribune.com
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