ELIAN: In this week’s NYConfidential (page 12) you’ll discover that the Elian Gonzalez story is the second most covered story in American history, using the three major networks as the barometer. OJ Simpson clearly is out in front, while Gonzalez leads the tragedies of Princess Di, JFK Jr. and the murder of JonBenet Ramsey.

Obviously, news coverage has changed and current day occurances are sensationalized, side-barred and dissected to the point of nausea. But Eilan, number two? As a matter of fact, look at the top five, it’s some commentary on what turns on today’s culture. Sad, isn’t it?

Back to the overworked Elian story.

I spent the past week in southern Florida visiting mom and mom-in-law in Boca Raton. Who says I’m not lucky?

The proximity to the sun may have something to do with the warped thinking. No, not my mom, the folks in the Miami area. I spent Monday of this week, in Miami and had the opportunity to chat with several people. I also spent the week listening to Miami talk radio.

The Cuban-American population of the area have been so blinded by anti-Castro fever that civil dialogue, diverse view points or an exchange of ideas concerning Elian Gonzalez is not possible.

If Elian’s Miami family dealt with the immigration folks in the same manner, then, the government showed more restraint than I can understand.

I remember, as a child, watching a heroic Fidel Castro come out of the mountains to free the people and overthrow the Batista dictatorship. For a few moments in time, he was an American and Cuban hero. Then he chose to follow an ideology that is not to our liking – communism. This communism thing has caused people to rise up against family members – as is the case with the Gonzalez clan – and no one is quite sure what it’s all about.

And, why is Castro such an anathema to the United States? Has he killed Americans? Bombed our embassy? Cut off our oil? Jailed our people?

I think not.

His record on human rights is certainly better than a lot of countries we do business with. But of all the countries in the world, the US picks on this almost harmless little island 90 miles from the Florida shore. It’s the Monroe Doctrine – our right to assert control in this hemisphere. It really doesn’t make much sense, does it?

Then again, it really doesn’t make much sense that five months have past and Elian Gonzalez is still being kept in this country against the wishes of his only parent.

And finally, it doesn’t make much sense that I am writing in a Queens paper about this little boy for the second time in a month.

Elian should be allowed to go home. This story should end, happily. We should reevaluate our policy towards Cuba – maybe while we smoke some cigars. And we should move on.

SHEPPARD: Civility is an important bond in our Queens community – in any community. Acting toward others according to acceptable standards enable neighbors, co-workers and all of society to function with grace. When one acts uncivilly and rudely it demeans themselves and everything about the interaction.

When trying to achieve change in society or our community, confrontation or even civil disobedience has proven to be an effective technique.

We are richer as a people because of the many who came before us who could not accept things as they were and eventually achieved change.

We have in Queens many civic activists who have to face a slow-moving bureaucratic government. Frequently, they must confront the situation, stretching commonly accepted techniques or behaviors in order to effect change. We admire and applaud those with the courage and tenacity to put their own reputations on the line to achieve what they believe is the greater good.

Sadly, some of these activists get lost in their own world of change seeking. They throw away the rules, they begin to worship confrontation, they thrive on offending others and begin to believe all who differ with them are the devil.

Joyce Sheppard of Bayside is one such activist. There have been times Sheppard’s causes were noble. However, her manner and style have caused the most of those who encounter her to reject her and her causes because of her manner and style. With Sheppard, rudeness and lack of civility seem to override her content.

Half truths, untruths, threats, disruption and anything to achieve the end have caused elected officials, community boards, this newspaper and many, many others to turn off the message because the messenger is so offensive. Sadly, everyone could be a loser when that happens.

The great activists who have righted wrongs in society may have used civil disobedience but, the great ones were always civil. Interpersonal interaction must recognize the value and worth of all who are at the table. When a civic activist is cast out because of his or her behavior, it is not a badge of courage, it is another message that won’t be delivered.

Joyce Sheppard, we believe, was once well intentioned. She is now caught up in playing a role – the role of Joyce Sheppard who can be offensive, nasty and downright rude if you don’t see things her way.

Sometimes she’s right. Sometimes she’s wrong. Sadly, she’s rarely civil.

I endorse divergent opinion. I endorse challenging the establishment.

However, I reject personal attacks. I reject those who offend because rudeness is louder than civility.

I applaud community activism. It is a noble and worthwhile cause.

But not the brand practiced by Joyce Sheppard. She has lost her way.

When Sheppard comes calling with her vile manner, tell her to get the flock out of here.