Loving Them To Death
Domestic Violence Hits Home
In Queens

By LIZ GOFF

It was really very simple – she’d had it with him. Adela Buitrago was tired of the lame excuses, the lies and the sugar-coated half truths Pedro Game used to convince her to remain in their 18-month relationship. Buitrago had recently learned the truth about this man who called himself "William." His real name was Pedro Game, he was married and a father.

Adela Buitrago of Elmhurst and Pedro Game before she learned of his lies and their attraction turned fatal.

The lies had gone full circle, Buitrago’s brother, Gabriel Escobar, said. She wanted out of the relationship and she told Game so.

Pedro didn’t take the news very well. He threatened to kill Buitrago and began stalking her. On Wednesday, Nov. 24, his rage turned outward, Escobar said. Game kidnapped Adela and held her for eight hours, threatening to choke the life out of her. Escobar accompanied his sister to the police, where she filed a complaint against Game for domestic violence.

Buitrago wasn’t shocked to see Game when burst into Alex’s Club in Astoria on Sunday morning, Nov. 28. He came through the door of the basement club at about 10:40 a.m., crazed with anger seeking vengeance, police said. Adela ran for a staircase to the street. But the 35-year-old cashier/waitress never made it. Pedro made good on his threats, pumping several rounds from an automatic weapon into the young mother of a six-year-old girl.

Game stood over the woman’s body as police from the 114th Precinct responded to frantic 911 calls. They entered the staircase and were forced to retreat when Game pressed the barrel of the gun against his own chin.

Outside, police sharpshooters lined the street outside the pool hall and NYPD hostage negotiators worked the phones. They convinced Game to give up – but not until he had held police and the neighborhood at bay for two hours. Game stepped onto the street at about 12:25 p.m., police said, lowering his weapon.

ADELA WAS NOT ALONE

Adela Buitrago wasn’t alone in her suffering. According to police, she was one of 30 "partners" killed in Queens since January 1998 – victims of a murderous relationship. There were 11 murders attributed to domestic violence in 1998, and 19 as of Oct. 31, 1999 – a 72.7 percent increase, despite NYPD efforts to intervene and counsel partners in troubled relationships, authorities said.

Described as spur-of-the-moment crimes of passion, murders involving domestic partners are almost impossible to prevent when one person has revenge, tempered by rage, on his or her mind, officials said. No amount of intervention or counseling will stop someone bent on murder, they said.

Research indicates that more women are victims of domestic violence in the United States than are victims of robbery and other physical crimes combined. Studies have proven that a woman is beaten by a domestic partner once every nine seconds in this country.

Domestic violence shows no prejudice. It crosses all lines – ethnic, economic, religious, racial and even age. Abused women come in all categories – married, single, separated. They are professionals, homemakers, with or without children. And they are suffering at the hands of a man who "promised to love them more than anything in the world" – suffering that is physical, emotional, or both.

The national cost of this abuse is estimated at about $900 million a year, according to a study performed for the Rush Medical Center in Chicago. And that figure does not reflect the nearly 50 percent of domestic violence incidents that are never reported to police or hospitals.

The personal cost of such abuse is immeasurable. Most victims fear whether they and their children will have food, shelter and clothing if they leave their abuser. And if the violence escalates to a life-threatening degree, a woman fears that her abuser will seek her out and kill her – just for revenge. And all the while she wonders: How did love do this to me?

Studies indicate that domestic violence is "learned behavior" – no one was born with an urge, or the rage, to abuse a partner. Children learn from example. And children whose parents abused each other are more likely to abuse their own partners when they grow up, studies indicate.

Cultural forces may also contribute to patterns of abuse, experts said. Women from Middle-Eastern countries, Latinos, Mexicans and women from some European countries often sacrifice themselves for their families, making sure their spouse and children are well cared for. They traditionally marry or live with men who provide well for them, but who make all of the decisions, who tell them how to dress, where to go and what to do.

Such men fall into traditional patterns, experts said, demanding complete respect and compliance from the woman. And failure of the woman to comply is often translated into violence – "If she doesn’t do as I say, I’ll hit her until she complies."

According to the N.Y. Chapter of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, the cycle of abuse is typically culminated after a buildup of tension that leads to an emotional or physical rampage. It is usually followed by a period of apologies, studies showed. And at its worst, the cycle culminates in homicide.

Forty-two percent of women are killed by their husbands or boyfriends, according to a study conducted by the Coalition.

Abusers can seek out help, the study said. But most don’t until they are ordered to do so by a judge. An estimated 65 percent of men who attend counseling to overcome patterns of abuse have been ordered to attend by a court – and only three percent of those men change their abuse patterns because of such counseling, the study revealed.

FIGHTING BACK

The New York City Police Department expanded its domestic violence program in 1987, linking existing services with the city’s Victim Services Agency, the Queens District Attorney’s Office and the N.Y. State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence.

These combined services offer a wide range of programs for people who find themselves in a violent environment. The services often include a network of shelters, safe homes, advocacy services, support groups and child counseling services. The program provides information on the legal rights of victims, criminal sanctions against abusers and local resources for families in domestic violence situations.

In cases where a victim calls 911 for help, police are required to make an arrest upon the victim’s request, and if they observe physical signs of abuse on the victim – even if the victim opposes the arrest.

If the victim refuses to press criminal charges against the abuser, the NYPD follows up on conditions in the home through a series of letters, phone calls and personal visits. Each precinct in Queens (and citywide) has at least one Domestic Violence Officer assigned to handle incidents of abuse. Each of these officers receives special training for the assignment, including training in intervention – significantly in the area of "repeat violence," NYPD officials said.

If the police are called, they must come and investigate the complaint, and the call may very well result in the arrest of the abuser. If the victim has an Order of Protection, the police must arrest the abuser, ordering him or her to stay away. If the order is ignored, the abuser can be arrested.

NO GUARANTEES

Victims are advised that Orders of Protection are not a written guarantee that the abuser will stay away. The court-ordered documents are enforced by the courts and police – when a victim calls 911 for help and produces a copy of the order to officers who respond.

The Orders of Protection must be hand delivered to the abuser, and court personnel advise victims at the time the order is issued that they may go to their local precinct to ask for a police escort when they serve the document.

But once the abuser has the document, it is almost impossible, law enforcement officials said, to follow up on the actions they take toward the victim. It is essential to the victim’s well-being that they contact police and the courts at the slightest infraction of the order by the abuser. Don’t wait until it’s too late, officials said.

If the victim takes the abuser to court, the judge may choose to "hold him over" for a hearing, he may be fined, placed on probation, ordered to attend a batterers intervention program, or sentenced to jail time, depending on the circumstances and on the victim’s willingness to cooperate with prosecutors.

Studies have shown that most women want only to stop the abuse, not to jail their abusers. Many women fear retaliation if the men are arrested, so they do not file charges. It is much more common, sources said, for women to seek Orders of Protection.

Most women are likely to return to their abusers many times before deciding to separate from him or seek legal protection. In the meantime, she may turn to friends or family for help with adjusting to her situation. Police and domestic violence experts agree – if you want to help a victim of abuse, listen to them, show support and caring, and let them know that they are not responsible for the violence. But most importantly, give them help and support in finding a way out. Help them to seek help, experts said.

In 1998 alone, 20,000 women were killed in the country through incidents of domestic violence, statistics show. For many of those women, the final violence came after they left their batterers – or as with Adela Buitrago, as they tried to leave.

Abusive men, just like water, seek their own level, said the Chicago study. Counselors advise battered women that they must change. He is not going to.

KILLER CALLS

Gabriel Escobar believes something is very wrong with the way city hospital workers monitor those in the Kings County Hospital Psychiatric Ward.

Escobar was left speechless, in shock, on Tuesday, Nov. 30, when Pedro Game called the family home to "explain" what went wrong – and why he killed Buitrago.

Escobar notified police after he received the bizarre call, and they notified hospital personnel. Sources later revealed that hospital staffers were unaware of the call until police notified them. Officials said they would "look into" the incident to determine how Game was able to phone Escobar.