UNCLE JACK’S STEAK HOUSE:
39-40 Bell Boulevard, Bayside; 229-1100

CUISINE: Continental

HOURS: 11 a.m. 2 a.m., Monday to Friday, 4 p.m. to 2 a.m., weekends

HANDICAPPED ACCESSIBLE: yes

CREDIT CARDS: All major

Two beer-swilling cows sharing a pitcher and a cigar with a sophisticated, carnivorous gentleman.

That’s what you will find on the eye-catching red awning that covers Uncle Jack’s Steak House, and that’s what you will find yourself doing when you get in, sans the cows.

As a matter of fact, the cows will be there, served up on your plate in large, hedonistic portions and cooked to your fancy. The bovinal menu runs the gamut from juicy filets and strips to the 25 oz. T-Bone for one to Uncle Jack’s signature dish, the 45 oz. Porter House Steak for two. All steaks are made of certified Black Angus Prime Beef, which is dried and aged in the manner of fine wine.

But the pride of Uncle Jack’s menu is the Kobe Beef, a delicacy cut from aristocratic Japanese cows that are fed beer and even massaged with sake. This world-renowned beef is aged for 21 days to ensure optimum flavor and served with creamed vegetables and potatoes.

Should you be more omnivorous or prefer poultry, Uncle Jack’s offers an eclectic menu of Free Range Chicken, Organic Pasta, and Fresh Seafood, all custom-made and uniquely designed by Executive Chef Dennis Borysowski. I was privy to the chicken special, served in a delicate butter sauce and garnished with the most delicious garlic mashed potatoes I’ve ever had.

While Uncle Jack’s catchy facade and buzzing reputation (its VIP list includes everyone from Rudy Giuliani to John Starks) is bound to attract you as you’re stepping off the LIRR, it’s in your best interests to make a reservation in advance, not only to ensure you’ll be served in a timely fashion, but to make sure you are served Uncle Jack’s-style, over a period of 2-3 hours with time for a berries-and-cream dessert.

For nightcaps, Uncle Jack’s has a decadent, dimly-lit lounge in its basement, which in its posh velvet couches, tapestry and candlelight is reminiscent of a French-Victorian bordello.

And the service does not stop there. The wait staff at Uncle Jack’s does just that: they wait on you, hand and foot, from your martini aperitif to your appetizer (try the crab cakes) through your entree, dessert and final descent to the lounge.

My guest and I enjoyed two very light "ladies cigars" that went just perfectly with our liqueurs and our mood, which was relaxed and satisfied thanks to the excellent service we received from Sam, a veteran Captain of Manhattan’s 21 Club.

Next time I’m going for the El Presidente.