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Asian Invasion In Astoria
Andrea
Lin Andrea
Lin, one of the country’s hottest Taiwanese imports, is setting up shop in
Astoria. After
traveling the country and the world, she settled down last year in western
Queens, and already finds the place to be as cozy and convenient as can be. “I
needed a place that’s convenient, and feels like home,” she said. “I
just go home on the N or W lines.” Andrea
admitted that after a day of teaching dance lessons in Manhattan, or hopping
between photo shoots for various modeling projects, there’s not much time to
explore the neighborhood. But she’s trying. She
has become a regular at dance clubs throughout the City. She swings her hips
to hip-hop, salsa and even ballroom, making her the perfect catch for any
music video. When she goes out, she lights up the dance floor with curve
fitting outfits and high-heeled shoes. But
when it’s time to unwind, Andrea is all about comfort. The 21-year-old cutie
throws on jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers and turns up the classical music
during her calm, relaxing moments. Not
that she has many of those. After all, this beauty of many talents also has
brains and uses them to keep herself busy. She
designs her own clothes and designs websites as a hobby. But
she is always assured of some alone time on the subway back to Queens after a
long day of dancing and photo shoots. While she gazes out the window of the
elevated N or W train, she said she thinks about how far she’s come.
“It’s exciting. Today I did a commercial for Walgreens,” she told us. She
then thoughtfully gave New York – and Queens – a plug. “This never would
have happened in Austin, Texas, or Taiwan.” Queens: Terrorist State We
know that Queens is a diverse place where people of all kinds of backgrounds
are allowed to have all kinds of ideas.
But
a terrorist state? That’s
what one nearby funnyman thinks. John
Wooden, a Brooklyn resident, runs a parody website of the executive branch
of the government at www.whitehouse.org. The
site is wonderfully deceptive; it’s the most subtle, scathing, hilarious
satire of the Republican Party you’ll ever see. The
Queens jab – we’re too busy laughing with Wooden to be offended – comes
on the site’s “Arab & Muslim Registration” page, under its fake
Department of Homeland Security. The
page has a form in which most fields asking for information aren’t open for
any response to be typed in, but are set as drop-down lists in which you can
only choose certain responses. The
field for “Middle Eastern Country of Origin” gives you the following
options: Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Libya, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Somalia,
Syria, Yemen and, last but not least, “Queens, NY.” Are
you from one of the countries and offended?
Are you from Queens and offended? Don’t
forget, this is a parody of the Grand Old Party. Are
you a Republican and offended? Get
over it! The
ability to criticize is what makes your country great. The Name Game For years, a flower shop right near the Nassau County border in Glen Oaks has provided beautiful arrangements for every occasion – but has a name that doesn’t always provoke thoughts of love and marriage.
The shop is called Jennifer Flowers.
Remember good old Jennifer Flowers? The pre-Monica object of our former
president’s lustful affections? Was there someone else in-between?
Well, the management of the Queens flower shop assures the public the
store has nothing to do with President Clinton or his love affairs.
An employee explained that the shop is named for someone named
Jennifer, and that’s all there is to it.
All right, but it’s still funny. Especially because there used to be a Clinton Florist right down the street on the Nassau side. It suddenly closed down recently. Hmmm. . . . What You Preach Call
the irony police! An
assistant to State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer – Lois Booker
Williams – thought she had all her crime prevention bases covered when
giving a talk to Queens Community Board 4.
She
gave plenty of tips on preventing telemarketing scams, contractual fraud, even
stopping identity theft. Williams was so confident in her crime preventing skills, she left her Christian Dior bag wide open on a table at the far end of the room. Luckily for her, a former police officer and current City Councilman Hiram Monserrate was sitting nearby. Hot
interns and live camera feeds – it sure sounds like the White House, but
imagine the surprise of a QConf staffer when he went on line to
find out some information about
George W. Bush and wound up at one of the steamiest websites ever.
While browsing the internet for the White House’s website a QConf reporter recently wound up at www.whitehouse.com. We
were surprised to see a site with some eye-popping photos that might make even
Former President Bill Clinton blush. This
“white house” offered a vastly different tour than the place with the same
name in Washington DC, and unlike its namesake home of the most powerful
leader on earth, www.whitehouse.com
is available to you 24-hours-a-day. After
lengthy research, the reporter realized that typing in www.whitehouse.gov
will
take you to the internet home of the 43rd President of the United States. The
reporter said he will be even more careful if he finds himself searching the
web for info about Congress.
E-MAIL your items to: conf@queenstribune.com
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