Misa

Real name: Michaela Snerdlova

Home: Ridgewood
Age: 22
Height 5'7"
Weight 115
Stats: 34B-23-34
UModels.com

Meet Misa, born Michaela Snerdlova, this brown-haired import from Czechoslovakia, blessed American soil two years ago.

Two months ago she moved to Ridgewood from Brooklyn. Misa said in her thick and seductive accent, "I don’t like Queens too much," and explains that all her friends are in Coney Island and go to the beach all the time. You can rest assured that our Czech beauty will quickly make a lot of new friends here, in Queens.

At 22, Misa admits she misses her parents back home. Despite the fact that she has a dazzling smile and weighs only 115 pounds, men could find her intimidating. She has five years of judo under her belt. She also enjoys squash and volleyball.

Misa enjoys reading, especially horror books by Stephen King. Currently she is enrolled in computer courses.

So what preferences does Misa look for in a man? Misa likes an older, taller man with short hair. He doesn’t have to be a beauty but he has to have some brains.

She started modeling three months ago, but has already turned the heads of some photographers. She hopes to land gigs in commercials, fashion and glamour shoots.

Fellow Czech splendor Daniela Pestalova is Misa's role model. Though Misa doesn’t recommend nude shots to boost a modeling career, she has some tastefully done pix of a semi-nude body on the web. Watch out Pestalova.

Misa, our new Queens beauty, can be found on the web at UModels.com (#7835).

A brainless graffiti vandal riding in the back of a patrol car left officers a memento. The vandal was arrested last Friday by the 104th Precinct for tagging up the streets, according to Frank Kotnik, president of the Glendale Civilian Observation Patrol. Usually the 104th has a special program for this kind of perp, who becomes a "Prisoner of the Graffiti War." The program involves community work, which consists of rubbing graffiti off walls, cleaning streets, and shining brass. But the police from the 104th had nothing for him at that time, so they drove him down to Department of Transportation facility in Maspeth for work over there. When they got there, police officers noticed that the vandal had scratched up the rear of the car seat, leaving his tag. The object used for the crime was a sharpening stone. "He’ll probably be locked up until Monday," said Kotnik.

Mel Brooks' "The Producers" is the talk of the town. It’s probably the hottest event in town. Mother’s Day was the ideal occasion to take in a matinee. At intermission, QConfidential noticed a cluster of famous moms, Oscar-nominated moms, actresses who have played moms and their moms, spouses, and kids all mashed together. Ironically, the Oscar winning actress Geena Davis didn’t notice Joan Allen standing behind her who didn’t notice Amy Irving to the left of her. Perhaps the first act induced tears of laughter that blurred their vision.

The Stand-Up NY Comedy Club in Manhattan held its annual "Funniest Person in Queens" contest last week. It’s always been a strong draw, usually attracting at least 10 to 15 participants. This year’s contest was no different, except there was only one problem: There was nobody in it!

According to sources, while 15 people signed up, all except one pulled out at the last minute. The lone funny man left, went up that night and heckled those who didn’t enter, declaring himself the undisputed "Funniest Man In Queens by default."

With no one else to take him on, he’d have to be! Queens has a long list of successful comedians over the years, including Jerry Seinfeld (Queens College alum).

So, where are the funny Queens people?

According to Richard Schack, Tribune reporter and now Stand-Up NY’s funniest Person in Queens, "I guess everyone heard I was gonna be in the show and got scared off."

Our Queens funnyman challenged anyone in the audience to step up and strip him of his "coveted title." Nobody did.

Is there anybody out there?

An email that has made it way to millions around the world, presents a simple solution to a looming energy crisis – voluntary blackouts. The email is an alternative to George W. Bush’s energy policies, which some have criticized as lacking in conservation.

The plan calls for a "simple protest and symbolic act." Turn your lights out from 7 to 10 p.m. on June 21 in any time zone, so the blackout actually rolls across the planet.

While you unplug, the email recommends, "light a candle to the Sungoddess, kiss and tell or not, take a stroll in the dark, invent ghost stories, anything that’s not electronic – have fun in the dark."

QConfidential has learned that former School Chancellor Rudy Crew has been piling up the frequent flyer miles discreetly travelling here to advise current chancellor Harold Levy.

"Crew is working in Washington State now, and had been thought to have washed his hands of New York City School politics," said a confidant of Crew’s.

" Evidently, Rudy C. thinks that he can help Levy complete the mission that he had envisioned for New York, maybe he’ll feel vindicated over what happened between he and Mayor Giuliani."

Levy supporters connected with the Board of Ed. since Crew was Chancellor set up the close correspondence between the two. "It has been almost clandestine, top-secret trips because of the delicate composition of the Board of Ed., and the betrayal factor that has come into play lately," our source claims.

"It makes sense to get the perspective of someone outside of the current situation, but who had been close enough to know what Harold is up against," says a former colleague of Levy’s. "I do know that Harold can’t have a better friend to advise him than Rudy Crew. Rudy was the last best chance to clean up the mess in public education. Rudy G. left Rudy C. with a bum rap. Maybe there’s hope yet with Rudy and Harold united."

There was no comment from the Levy, Crew or Giuliani camps.