Greetings From Floriduh! Now you can send e-cards reflecting the Sunshine State's new ability to present the visual in its simplest unambiguous form. This card (above) received by QConfidential is one of several beauts available at www.modernhumorist.com. Graphic political humor was everywhere on the web the past few weeks. The newly proposed Palm Beach County ballot (above, right) and the two photos received via email (below, right) are a sampling of the current cybersatire.

It's A Coin Toss!

It has been one of the most nerve-racking elections ever, as citizens watch the results of
the Presidential election recount in Florida and political sides drag the election process along arguing over chads with dimples.

But fear not, intrepid voter, the Washington Mint has once again captured the spirit of history in a shiny keepsake.

It’s the "Coin Toss" Presidential Election Silver Proof Set: a single silver coin weighing in at approximately .999 pure silver (not that cheap imitation silver) and measures 39 mm in
diameter. On one side, there’s the grinning mug
of Texan Guv George Dubya Bush and on
the other you have the stiff upper lip of
Vice President Al Gore.

And once you get your Washington Mint coin, then you and your family will have just as much chance of picking the president as the Florida voters do . . . just toss it and call it: "Bush" or "Gore." No matter what the outcome, you are guaranteed a winner every time.

You never know, the Washington Mint’s double headed coin could be the best proposal yet for deciding this race in quick order.

Nobody's Home
At The 104th

QConfidential was trying to talk to the 104th Precinct just a day after a meeting between COP104 (Committee of Organization of Precinct 104) and the residents of the Juniper Park area, but alas, the efforts were for naught.

The phone rang and rang to the precinct’s
main number, but it seems that nobody
was home.

The oldest profession is earning millions in Queens and the Queens District Attorney's office is fighting to cut the profit so that this business goes bad. But they need neighborhood help to identify the problem spots, which raises the question. . . "Do you see prostitutes in your neighborhood?" To express your opinion, CALL (212) 980-3434. ENTER question number 356 PRESS 1 for NEVER PRESS 2 for SOMETIMES PRESS 3 for ALWAYS

One point of discussion at the meeting that focused on reckless drivers was how the 104th had the slowest response time to 911 calls in the city.

We think we’ve found the problem . . . you’ve got to answer the phone when it rings.

Juniper Park Civic's Bob Holden remarked,"Now you know what I am talking about."

Insult To Injury

As Queens School Board 29 struggles to maintain business as usual in its schools
despite the indictment of their former Superintendent for computer-contract
kickbacks, there’s one new barrier to learning.

One board member lamented to QConfidential that there were 17 schools with broken computers that just can’t be fixed because they are evidence in the case against former Superintendent Celistine Miller.

"We have a lot of computers that can’t be touched," said Stephen Jones, a member of SB 29. "Our teachers will just have to go back to the basics and teach without the aid of computers."

Meanwhile, Chancellor Harold Levy has come to the rescue with $1 million to fix the district’s computer problems.

Time To Make The Doughnuts

In their never ending search to discover a new medium through which to express themselves, sometimes artists can come up with pretty interesting ideas. While some stick to the basics—watercolors, acrylics and the like—others tend to use less traditional media, like doughnuts for instance.

That’s right, doughnuts . . . as in the circular pastries most people choose to make a snack out of rather than a work of art.

Apparently there are enough artists working in the medium to prompt a contest to see who is the best.

Touted as "the best art contest to hit New York in years," the Alliance of Queens Artists (AQA) has announced that applications are ready for their upcoming "Doughnut Art Contest."

Sponsored by Krispy Kreme N.Y., the contest is open to all New York artists who think they have what it takes to make a Boston cream look like a Rembrandt.

Those wishing to enter should submit a slide or photo of their original artwork, which must include a doughnut and the Krispy Kreme logo.

For the application or more information, send a self addressed stamped envelope to the AQA Gallery attention: doughnut, 99-10 Metropolitan Ave., Forest Hills, N.Y. 11375. First prize is a $2,500 purchase award from Krispy Kreme.

You can reach us by email at conf@queenstribune.com Fax to Conf (718) 357-0972 Or you can reach us by mail: "Confidential" 174-15 Horace Harding Expressway Fresh Meadows, NY 11365

 

Confidentially New York . . .

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Queens NYConfidential is edited by: Michael Schenkler and Tamara Hartman.
Contributors:	Tom Allon, Steve Azzara, Nick Buglione, David Colby, Ira Cohen, Marcia Moxam Comrie, Barbara Jarvie, Stephen McGuire, Mike Nussbaum, Dee Richard.