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...Abe Rosenthal, the longtime executive editor of the NY Times, is being hired by the Daily News to be a new columnist. ...Jerry Seinfeld, the formerly commitment-challenged funny-man, had his small intimate bachelor party at the 2nd Avenue Deli, former stomping ground of Borscht Belt comedians of a bygone era. ...Veteran Chelsea Assembly-member Dick Gottfried could face a serious challenge this year from popular Village activist Kevin Finnegan. ...The City’s first Caribbean-born Councilwoman, Una Clarke, is planning to mount a campaign to pluck away the Congressional seat of Major Owens in Brooklyn. ...Although they plan to put forward a single candidate to challenge frosh Congressman Joseph Crowley in Queens, both Coun-cilmembers Walter McCaffrey and John Sabini have formed exploratory committees. ...Former Mayor Ed Koch predicts that the growing Brooklyn DA probe of the City’s Buildings Department scandal could prove to be the undoing of Rudy Giuliani’s mayoral administration. "The investigation into Bruce Teitelbaum pressuring a building commissioner to fire an assistant commissioner may cause him to leave government because it has all the potential of spreading," Koch said last week. 2000 Predictions NYConfidential consulted our crystal ball to see what the future holds. From the wild to somewhat plausible, here is one writer’s predictions for the next millennium. Happy New Year New York! Jan. 2000: No fatal plane crashes, high profile murders, terrorist incidents, famines, droughts, floods, tornadoes, fires or anything resembling the plagues of Passover during Y2K. Only uplifting, positive stories appear on the front pages of all NY newspapers and lead all local media newscasts. Mayor calls for NYC water to be tested for traces of Prozac. Feb. 2000: George Bush comes stumping to NYC before the GOP primary and unwittingly insults at least one ethnic group, two special interests, three NYC politicians and four boroughs he wrote off anyway. The market soars to astronomical new heights. March 2000: John McCain and Steve Forbes will get on the NYS GOP primary ballot. McCain will win the primary, as dispirited party regulars send a message to the GOP Powers that they want an open primary. The New York Times starts printing Doonesberry, horoscopes and a really cool global weather map page in color. April 2000: Downtown diet queen, author and handbag designer Monica Lewinsky, searching for a new career, announces for the New York City Council. May 2000: Gov. Jesse "The Body" Ventura (MN) comes out swinging with his own line of sunglasses, feathered boas and a cologne, "Just Jesse." Gov. Pataki markets his new fragrance, "Veep!" a scentless, colorless cologne so subtle it goes completely unnoticed. June 2000: Out of wedlock children and girlfriends come out of the woodwork for local and national politicians during the 2000 election cycle. No one cares. In at least one local and national race, all baby boomer candidates admit to trying marijuana. No one cares. The market soars to astronomical new heights. July 2000: Upon the Atlanta Braves’ first visit to NY, John Rocker rides the No. 7 subway train to Shea Stadium, signs autographs and poses for pictures with riders (the ones with purple hair, AIDS, 20-year-old moms with four kids, and those who don’t speak English). He wears an I Love NY shirt under his Braves’ jersey, blows kisses to the Shea fans, and appears at an NAACP function with Al Sharpton. Aug. 2000: Al Gore and John McCain are the 2000 Presidential nominees. NYC’s Donald Trump submits a proposal to develop Governor’s Island into a world-class casino. Sept. 2000: HUD Secretary Andrew Cuomo becomes de facto head of the NYS Democratic Party, in preparation for his run for Governor in '02 against Rudy Giuliani. Oct. 2000: In a spirited season of diversity and brilliant plays, the Mets win the Y2K World Series. After 14 long years, Mets fans are once again ecstatic. The Donald approaches NASA about buying a piece of the Moon real estate for a world-class casino, to be called Trump’s Galaxy. Nov. 2000: Mayor Rudy G. goes through three more School Chancellors. The market soars to astronomical new heights. Dec. 2000: Elizabeth Dole becomes a blonde since she’s having so much fun with her husband, Bob Dole. As his Viagra spokesman contract pfizzles, Pfizer approaches Bill Clinton, soon to be unemployed, as new Viagra spokesman. Clinton accepts because he needs the money to pay for Senator Hillary’s new Chappaqua home and digs in Little Rock. The market soars to astronomical new heights, making all investors filthy rich. Everyone is ecstatic. Short Cops With the City on the threshold of a major "cop shortage," NYPD officials have come up with a unique incentive plan designed to encourage New York’s Finest to stay on the job past their 20-year retirement cutoff date. The NYPD "Deferred Retirement Option" will be offered to the estimated 11,000 to 12,000 cops who have made plans to retire each year between now and 2003, sources said. More than 83 percent of the current police force have said they will retire when their "20 years" are up, by 2003. The plan is simple. Cops reaching 20 years on the job would file a date of retirement and determine their pension, sources said – as they would normally do. But cops who opt for the new package would stay on the job at full salary, sans deductions for their pension. While continuing to work, the cops would collect their 20-year pension – as if they were retired. Their pensions would not increase while they remain in salaried positions "on the job," or when they actually retire. One of the reasons why NYPD officials established the option package was the dismal failure of recent efforts to sign up new recruits. The NYPD’s last recruitment effort brought in only 3,000 qualified candidates, the sources said. Police officials are currently reassessing recruitment policies to determine how they can attract new candidates without lowering current educational and background requirements. Kosher Elevators North Shore University Hospital at Forest Hills recently invited a group of Jewish religious leaders from throughout Queens for a unique event. Rabbis and hospital administrators dedicated an elevator that observant Jews can use on the Sabbath in keeping with Jewish law and tradition. The elevator runs like any other, except on the Sabbath when it is programmed to automatically stop on every floor so that people of Jewish faith in the hospital to visit their loved ones and friends, will not have to perform the mechanical activity of pushing the buttons (considered work). However, like the title of that old Booker & Foster comedy album says, "you don’t have to be Jewish," at least not to ride this elevator. NYConfidential was told by hospital spokesman Dan Rosett that North Shore was simply responding to requests from its increasingly diverse community. Now, if they could only do something about that hospital food . . . .
E-MAIL your items to: NYConf@NewsCommunications.com
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